Shutting out

Are there times you feel like shutting the world out?  

This should help you relate.  

*Shutting out*

My Heart Hurts in the worst possible way.  

Dear God, I wonder:  

Are God Eyes still watching me?  

"You should have known,"they say,  

As I wrestle with Depression.

I think of calling Dear Alcohol,  

But I can’t—  

I don’t want to be the Joker.  

I don’t want Another Sorry.  

I’m suffocating,  

But I tell myself:  

Be strong.  

To Be a Man,  

A Real Man,  

Maybe even Like a Soldier.  

I hope my efforts are seen,  

But it’s all just Propaganda.  

No need to be a Narcissist,  

Though sometimes I feel  

I Need a Break.  

Cause I can't Breathe 

Should I scream Dear Mom

Or turn to the Book of Revelation?  

After all, I’m a Child of God.  

But doubt creeps in—  

Should I heed The Devil’s Calling?  

Maybe I’m Searching for a Reason,  

Caught between Life and Eternity.  

I feel like the Grinch,  

Trapped in a Glitch Goes Viral world.  

Even in my Black and White mind,  

I wonder: Why So Serious?  

This isn’t Gotham,  

But I’m lost in The Abyss.  

And then, reality hits.  

Earphones unplugged,  

The noise of vehicles on this Lonely Dirt Road.

"Commot for road!  

No be me go kill you."  

I smile.  

They can’t.  

I just tried to *shut out* the world.  

© Ebube

Dedicated to Dax

NB: The bold words are songs of Dax